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About Literature / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Spoonerdog123Female/Australia Groups :iconygoforbiddenpast-fc: YGOForbiddenPast-FC
Ryou: Okay, who lost the phone?
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Vector Art/Turnaround- Simple BG
Esper (MM Week) by Esper-Roba Ibuki's Waltz by spoonerdog123- vector art (the first one is from one of my RP accounts)
Ibuki (Turnaround) by spoonerdog123 - turnaround

You will need to supply a reference of the character/s for this commission, which will be drawn with Illustrator CS5. Price goes up by 10 points for each extra character in the art or view in the turnaround, and will go higher if you want more characters in the vector art/characters with insanely complex designs to them. If you're going to commission - note me before you click that button, so we can organize things.
Fanfic - One-Shot
Invisible ManFandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! DM
Reasoning: Tradefic for Ria–Pia.
Handicap/Requirement: Fic needs to start with the line: 'He had to say goodbye'. And an extra requirement, because this one was just way too good to pass up – after the initial sentence, the paragraphs get shorter and shorter, until there's just one word left.
Ships: None. Thiefshipping and Angstshipping may be implied, but only if you're into those ships; romance is not mentioned anywhere.
Length: 1250 words. Another thing – the number before each paragraph is actually a measurement of how many words are in that paragraph.
Warnings: None, aside from maybe the line breaks...
He had to say goodbye–
–and that desire wasn't just a want, it was a need; and slowly destroying Marik Ishtar from the inside out. He had to say goodbye, c
Pacifier (Spitting the Dummy)Summary: He'd never felt for his host; it was merely his choice instrument of destruction, after all. But when it started hurting itself, he decided that perhaps his being recognized as a monster was bad for the host's health. Something had to be done...
Tendershipping - aimed to be flipped into something cute and bigbro/littlebro – style by the end.
Warnings: Some violence and blood at the start.
The whole bigbro/littlebro thing was inspired by the piece of artwork that is the fic's cover; 'A sunny afternoon - Yami Bakura and little Ryou' by at yourdreams. Never done that sort of relationship in Tender before, wanted to see if I could run it without giving 'Kura an extra body or anything like that.
It is dying, the host.
He can only watch in shocked silence, as the nine year old staggers about its tiny bedroom as though drunk, though the plastic hilt protr

The Bathtime IncidentDisclaimer: Don't own YGO.
Qualifier Requirements: Must concern any or all of the Bakuras (Ryou/Yami Bakura/TKB/Zorc *seeing as Yami Bakura is apparently Zorc*), must involve bathtime.
Author Handicap: Must be run serious - can one create a dark bathtime-oriented fic?
Reviews/Comments: Concrit and praise are much loved. Unintelligent flaming is not. Since the contest isn't yet over, I'd be pleased to get some feedback on this, see if I can revise it a little before the due date.
Warnings: None.
The Bathtime Incident
The rain poured down on the ten–year–old, currently struggling soggily down the road with school bag dragging. His normally immaculate clothes were muddied and weighed down, head hanging as he beheld his once–white sneakers before him, stained with dirt. In short, he was absolutely filthy, battered and exhausted, having ru
We Need a Doctor Over HereTrade with Djpunupipi, put up here due to FFDotNet being a pain.
Disclaimer: Don't own YGO - or Doctor Who, or anything else referenced in the piece.
Warnings: Thief King Bakura is sporting his manga personality, not his anime personality. This personality is near–identical to Yami Bakura's own personality, so please bear that in mind. As for other warnings... Well, HumanReincarnation!Zorc shows up - I think that's fair warning - and the whole thing is borderline-crackfic.
We Need a Doctor Over Here!
The oversized banners hung limply from the ceiling. They did not, as stated upon the packet, 'flutter gaily in the breeze'. In fact, they were not even moved by the icy draughts that swept the tiny flat on a regular basis. No, they just hung there, as carcasses in a butcher's shop might – enormous banners that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of being bumped

This is the base price for fanfic oneshots; all shippings are fine with me~ Please let me know if you are interested by note, and we will discuss the idea and pricings. Be warned; the price will go up somewhat if you're asking for a very complex plot, a fandom I have no clue about, OCs anywhere, more than four characters, multiple shippings at the same time, and so on.

Oneshots can be anywhere from about 2000 to 6000 words.
Fanfic - Multi-chapter
I have none on this account; please visit the below links for examples:

-… (OC story)
-… (OC story)
-… (Crossover story)

The base pricing is 30 per chapter, and 40 for every chapter after the fifth. Again, this goes up if I have to include OCs, fandoms I don't know about, a very complex plot (and yes, this does mean 'Write a fanfic where all eight of my OCs run in their own dueling tournament), more than four main characters, multiple shippings at the same time, so on and so forth.

Again, note me if you're interested, and we'll work it out~


Don't Trust Me [ANIMATION] by spoonerdog123
Don't Trust Me [ANIMATION]
Don’t Trust The Ho, Don’t Trust The Ko, Don’t Trust The Souda... 

This is a series of WIPs for an upcoming animation featuring Souda and Hinata from SDR2; it's a shot-by-shot parody of the music video for Don't Trust Me, which is why everything here is very silly.

Stuff I Already Know:

- To save my gallery, I put all three WIPs into the one thing. They're from completely different parts of the video, though.
- Souda's mouth's gone in the last shot because I still need to lip-sync that.
- Everything's messy because it's all very WIP-y - there's some misdrawn stuff here and there.

If you wanna reblog this thing or just look for more info on what's up, please go to the low-quality Tumblr post

A/N: Warning for some gore! It's not that bad, even for me - and I have a terrible time trying to stomach written gore and bloody stuff in general, so that's saying something - but I thought I had better warn people, just in case.

Chapter Three: Dust

 First | Previous | Next

‘Congratulations! You are the GLUTTON –

The one who broke a heart, in exchange for the lofty promise of power. Great job – here is a key to the heart of another, that you may break them too.’

As I read the placard for the umpteenth time, I turn my golden, glimmering advantage over in my talons, thinking upon the meaning of both the item and the message that accompanied it. A humanizing ring is a powerful item to say the least, and tempting in its power – after all, it carries the sense that Commander Crumm took away from me – but I'm certain that it would be tempting only for me, lending extra credit to the idea that my actions continue to be planned well in advance. The placard is more confusing than anything else, though it certainly has a point, too: I chose to wait for an advantage as opposed to pursue Russ and stand beside him in silent rebellion. Not that I think that this would have broken his heart at all – we had just met when we were separated, and it wasn't like he seemed to have any strong attraction to me.

Perhaps, then, it is – no, it must be an exaggeration, just as the part about somehow breaking someone’s heart with a humanizing ring is. Though the ability of sight is powerful in its own right, it's not something that I would see as a key to anyone's heart but my own. For one thing, I am the only person who would at all get an advantage from becoming a human with the ability to see properly, and for another, I'm sure that no–one in our group would even appreciate the company of weak humans, bar perhaps Taki – someone who I certainly don't wish to bond with, let alone 'break’! Yes, yes – the placard has to be taking no small amount of poetic license here; exaggerating the facts to make it seem as though I am someone who regularly breaks hearts, or will use this humanizing ring for some horrible purpose. Strategically speaking, the wording is clearly trying turn the others against me, and just force a murder early on in proceedings.

So, then… I've got you all figured out, mastermind. Now to turn the tables!

I cannot assume my old form this high up; doing so could cause a shelf to break under my new weight and I could fall, fatally injuring myself. Therefore, taking the humanizing ring in my beak, I flap my way down to the ground level and put it on the moment my talons have touched the ground. In seconds, I am a weak human, incapable of true flight or fight – and yet, I find myself enjoying it. It's wonderful how clear and sharp my vision is now, and those spots of blinding white are gone from my field of view; I turn in a slow circle, raising my head to examine the room with new eyes. The mastermind has been even more careful with this room than I thought; the thin edges of each shelf are decorated with images of Swellows in flight, a detail that I missed earlier due to my blindness. As I step close to one of the lower shelves to examine it, I cannot help but make note of complete lack of any uneven blotches or scratches on the walls, despite the colour clearly being the result of a custom–

A banging on my door causes me to stop, and hesitate. On the one hand, I want to remain honest about my advantage to the others, so that they will trust me despite that placard; on the other, I don't particularly want to meet one of nine potential killers in the weaker of the two forms. I weigh up the options, and decide to answer the door as a bird, with the humanizing ring held tightly in one talon. The handle for my door is, just as it is on the other side of the door, a pull–handle made for my talons and at the correct height for my bird form; I open the door with ease, glaring at my visitor. “What do you–?

I stop, blinking in some surprise – for there is no–one there, just a note in front of my door, a message crudely scribbled on it in black crayon. I check both ways down the hallway, then tut, picking up the note in one talon and trying to read it despite the horrific handwriting and frequent spelling errors. If this is someone’s idea of a joke, I don’t find it particularly funny.

This is a sunper–cool–and–oonly–a–littles–angsty–envite to my Plot–Relevant–Event Party, feacuring a huuuuuuuge decrision for my characteer! Faced with tthe ultimate choise, what will I pick? We just don’t knowh, which’s why eveerryonee’s invited! Meet me in the common room at five p.m by the cllassroom’s cloock, so we can plan ALL the super–cooll party food, and be on track for a party, before anyone starts dying!

– Lady Shadowclaw Du Bloodytearz ’

I frown and tap the little note against the ground, my thoughts equal parts ‘We have a common room?’ and ‘That Eevee’s a prized idiot’. The mere notion that I would ever bother attending such a ludicrous gathering with absolutely zero attention to spelling and no safety measures in place is ridiculous in itself, never mind the idea that apparently the correct thing to do in such a dire situation is to party–

“BOO!” And with that, the door opposite mine – the Fire–type one that Taki has apparently claimed – goes flying open, and there’s a brown blur coming right at my face. I jerk backwards, spreading my wings in an attempt at gaining extra stability, but it’s no use – the Eevee bowls me off my feet.

Not again–!

“Suuuuuuurprise! Haha, did you really think I’d leave you a note?!? That’s not my way at all! For one thing, I was only patient enough for one totes–secret–awesome–coded note, and for another – a protagonist like me’s gotta do everything in person, or people’ll get the deets all muddled up! Anyways, you’re the last person I invited. Everyone else said they’d come – soooo, you’ve gotta come, or I’ll never leave you alone, and then we’ll be totes rivals, and then I’ll be sure to end up crushing you and that’ll be all fun for me, but none for you! C’mon, it’s totally gonna be D–Day and everything – D for Decision, that is–!”

 “Slow down!” I squawk, wriggling out from under the oversized puppy and standing back up, quite rightfully furious at my treatment. “Whatever makes you think that I will attend this contrived gathering? It sounds completely unsafe! One wrong move, and a murder could be performed before our very eyes!”

“Naaaaaaah,” the Eevee replies, and I can just about hear each separate ‘a’. “Nuh–uh. No deal. That’d be totally against the rules!”

“The rules are to kill each other! What part of that do you not understand?!?”

“No, no – the other bit of the rule. I mean, if there’s witnesses, the killer’ll get caught for sure. And, since you can only kill three people at once – if everyone’s there, you can’t go killing all of the witnesses, so it’s totes safe to have everyone in the one place! Sooooo, see ya in a few hours for my epic–level–decision–tiiiiime!”

Before I can either wonder when she got so smart or flat–out object to attending her ridiculous party, she’s snatched back her note and gone speeding off down the hallway; her claws skittering and clicking against the tiles. I sigh, looking after her before glancing into the Fire–Type room. There is, as expected, rather a lot of fire; even from across the hallway, I can feel the heat from the torches that line the walls, the burning chandelier – and of course, the enormous, roaring fireplace. Oddly enough, there is no unfortunate human sitting in this room.

Where did he go…?

After a few seconds of my absentminded looking for Taki without any success, Mark pokes his head out of the flap in his door, checking both ways before he notices me. “O–oh, um… I–is she gone for real this time?”

“I certainly hope so!” I reply, strutting right up to him and enjoying the way he cringes back, how he trembles in fear before me. Mark is a coward if ever there was one, and right up there with the human as ‘most likely to die first’. Normally, I would not bother with one as undignified as this Totodile – but he may very well know what the other four were doing whilst we were collecting our advantages.

It would be advantageous to know what they did, but especially what that handsome Lucario did… Maybe he even knows where Russ is right now!

“Tell me”, I begin, watching the Totodile shiver and shake; for now, despite his shivering and constant apologizing, he is useful to me. “What did you and the other four do whilst my group was in the classroom?” I want to ask about Russ specifically, but I stop myself; to do that now would be to appear as though I was targeting him. I must not make such a wonderful man with such an excellent physique as that Lucario think that I am not on his side – nothing could be further from the truth! I want to be at his side, and when I finally go blind, let him lead me about, holding his hand through the most extravagant of parties–

“O–oh! Um, we explored a little… I–I really don’t like how big this place is or anything, a–and I’d happily starve in the hallway if anyone wanted me to, but... U–um, Russ and ‘Becca said it would be okay to look around, s–so I came along. I’m sorry if that was too bold of me, I’ll try harder to be more meek next time, s–so please don’t hit me–”

“I believe you are more than meek enough already!” I tut. “Stop complaining, and inform me instead of the layout of this place.”

Mark jumps backwards at the interruption, causing the flap he’s been looking through to slam shut with a sound almost loud enough to mask the tell–tale splash. When Mark’s head reappears through the flap a few seconds later, he’s dripping wet; now it is my turn to shrink back from him in distaste. “There’s, um… More rooms, at the end of this hallway? Th–there’s a big common room, a–and a kitchen with lots of food – uh, and a walk–in supply closet, and a pool as well, th–though that doesn’t have any water in it. I think that’s it, b–but you’re welcome to whip me if I forgot anything–!”

“I think I will decline”, I sniff; turning and walking off down the hallway while he gapes after me.

First, I shall check Russ’s room… Uh, if Axel said we got a room according to our type, then his room must be…

The dull, grey door marked ‘STEEL’ and the deep mahogany door marked ‘FIGHTING’ are directly opposite each other in the hallway. One of these must be Russ’s door, and I remember Axel telling me that he had given someone else the other – but which one belongs to my gorgeous Lucario? I cannot use the design of the door as a basis – both of these have pull–handles at roughly the same height. After a moment of listening for any sound from either door, I sigh, and tap a talon against the cold metal of the Steel–type door.

A soft ringing noise as I tap the door, and then nothing. After waiting several minutes, I try again, and as I am fast losing patience here, I knock somewhat louder this time. The resultant ringing is enough to make me jerk back from the door, my feathers fluffing up at the noise. However, there is still no response; and as I don’t particularly want to turn the door into a gong, I turn and knock on the other door. This time, there are footsteps, a low grumbling; my heart skips a beat, as I stare up at the door handle. Is Russ himself about to greet me?

“Hello?” The door creaks open, and the Lopunny from earlier looks down at me. Her room is quite large in terms of length and width, but the ceiling is low enough that her ears brush against it with her every motion. Over her shoulder, I can see a glossy wooden floor not unlike a gymnasium, and a humanoid training dummy in one corner. “So…” she begins, then trails off, shaking her head. “Ah – sorry, I don’t know your name. I’m Rebecca – Rebecca Lawrence, if we're going with first and last names? I mean, you kinda look like the sort who'd appreciate full names.”

She offers me a faint smile there. Unable to tell if she means to be patronizing, I scowl up at the Lopunny – and after a second, put on my humanizing ring to reduce the otherwise rather serious height difference. “…Indeed", I manage after a moment, trying not to show my bedazzlement at how much clearer the world looks now that I am human. "I am Gloria Maurice Van Rudwick, and I am looking for the Lucario. Do you know where I might find him?”

Rebecca frowns, tilting her head enough to the right that both ears end up flopping that way. "Last I saw Russ, he was in the common room. But – if you're going to go and find him, can I come?"

I was about to turn and walk off, but her question catches me off guard; I freeze on the spot, staring at her. Why would she want to accompany me? Is she planning to off me – or worse, planning to off both myself and Russ? Is she some kind of dumped, but still overly attached girlfriend? Such thoughts chase each other in endless circles, until after a good minute I remember that the only way to put them to rest is to ask. "And why do you want to go traipsing after me?"

"He seemed pretty upset earlier", the Lopunny replies, then her frown deepens. "And… well, he's strong, and upset people do rash things, if you get what I'm saying. If the idiot decides to go berserk or something, two's better than one." And with that, Rebecca takes my arm, leading me into the hallway. I oblige, though more out of confusion than anything else.

Is that what the heart–broken do? Kill people? I thought that was only in mainstream movies...

Meaning, it is… just a fictional thing, right? I do not need a body guard here, correct?

And yet, I allow the Lopunny to stay at my side.


We find Russ in the common room. He is hunched over on a burgundy couch, with his knees drawn up to his chest, his head between his hands. The fur at his cheeks glistens with what I hope is just sweat, despite the way his body is racked with the tell–tale twitches of silent sobbing. His ears are flat against his head, and were his eyes not naturally crimson, I would imagine them to be redder than usual.

Rebecca edges towards the Lucario, her face full of concern, but I stop dead in the doorway – I can't help it. The sight hurts too much for me to go on. I don't so much as flinch back every time he twitches; all I can do is stare in absolute horror. For someone as powerful as Russ to have been reduced to this state – it's almost as bad as my killing him altogether.

Perhaps, considering that I never meant to break his heart in the first place, it is worse.

"Russ–" Rebecca begins, but she gets no further – with that, the Lucario's now been made aware of us. He stands, wiping at his eyes with the back of one hand. Then, muttering something best not repeated here, he turns and stalks towards the hallway door – towards me. I hurriedly remove my humanizing ring, hurriedly smile at him, though my mind is far from content. Perhaps if he sees me in my wonderful final form, perhaps if he recognizes me, he'll…


Russ's door slams, and rings like a gunshot.


After perhaps an hour of fruitless waiting for the Lucario to come out of his room, Rebecca suggests that she show me around before Shadowclaw shows up. I refuse at first, but the Lopunny is surprisingly insistent about it. "C'mon, you need to take your mind off this", she tells me. "He can't hurt anyone if he's on his own, and I bet he's strong enough to get over whatever happened himself. It'll just take him a bit of time."

I harrumph and attempt to appear as though I don't care about Russ at all. It's difficult, but somehow I fight the urge to glance back towards the Steel–type door and instead follow Rebecca into the kitchen area. It's accessed by a set of double doors in the common room; the smell of frying lingers in the air here, though there are no dishes in the sink. I close my eyes, trying to use it as some form of distraction from what would otherwise be a rather lengthy monologue.

We only met a few hours ago, I remind myself. The brute just hasn't realized he likes me yet.

But if that's the case, why was he so upset just then…?

"So, this is the kitchen", Rebecca points out. For a moment, I fear she might be about to launch into a piece–by–piece description of every last item in the kitchen, but then her attention is caught by something else. "Huh? This… this wasn't here when I came in."

I follow her gesture, and realize that she is now holding in one hand a bit of paper, torn off from some larger piece. I draw closer to see what it says; the handwriting is a messy scrawl, smudged pencil on file–paper, but I can just make out one word: clone. I look at Rebecca in some confusion, only to find that she is about as puzzled as I am."What do you think it means?" she asks as soon as we make eye contact, but I only shake my head.

"I do not know. Perhaps there are more pieces in other rooms?"

Rebecca frowns, but she nods, and so we proceed back to the common room. This large, round room acts as a sort of hub to all the other rooms – the indoor pool is accessed by going through a door opposite the kitchen, and down a wide hallway with plain white walls and a plain white floor. After a sharp turn right, it is no longer plain; there's fluorescent green matting of some kind of rubber, hooks with towels hung on them, and even the occasional bench crammed up against the walls. There's another door, and then the stench of chlorine hits me.

Before us lies quite the pool, and quite the pool party to boot; it seems we're not the only ones to consider coming here. Ali is atop the diving board, her heads for once arguing over something; I can't hear what it is from this height, but an educated guess would be that it is over whether or not she should jump. Eliza is here, too – perfectly dry, and yet snickering at the two–headed–hydra's reluctance to take the leap. "C'mon!" she calls out. "Jump already, ya twit!"

Meanwhile, Shadowclaw doggy–paddles in the shallow end, her black fur dye leaking out into the water as she shouts abuse at the Suicune – whose name I still don't know. Standing on the surface of the water, his ribbons flapping in some invisible breeze, he looks as magnificent as ever – despite wearing a lifesaver jacket in place of his usual attire. "Stop godmodding! That's my job" the Eevee wails, paddling towards the Suicune; the legendary's response is to step back and in this fashion lead the little dog in circles. He speaks a word with each step, but quietly enough that I cannot hear him over the screech accompanying Ali's leap off the diving board. There is no splash, however – instead, the Zweilous melts into her own shadow and reappears right behind a very surprised Eliza, shoving her straight into the pool.

As the Suicune runs across the water to try and first help out the Grovyle, then try and stop the two Pokéumans from fighting each other over Ali's stupidity, I pull Rebecca back, shaking my head. "We will not find anything here. Let us search elsewhere."

Rebecca bites her lip, looking at the little gathering. "…So long as we tell them everything we find later, I guess it'll be okay."


As there is nothing of note in the supply cupboard beyond another piece of torn–up paper reading 'One of', the two of us decide to go back to our rooms and wait for Shadowclaw to come and take us back to this stupid party she seems so hell–bent on having. As return to my room, I cannot help but notice that the door opposite mine – Taki's door – is still wide open. I poke my head inside and glance about, shifting back to bird form to try and better resist the ridiculous heat of the Fire–type.

He's not in his room, then… Not in any of the public areas either, aside from maybe that classroom I woke up in. And he wouldn’t have any reason to be in there, unless...

He's not the first victim, surely–!

I look towards the door of the classroom, at the other end of the hall from the common room, and I'm unsettled enough that I jump when a very wet Eevee comes running up behind me. She's squealing about how everyone's got to come to her party, and how glad she is that she found me, and how I'm going to be her third guest and everything, and oh, what a fantasticabulous time we're going to have. As she drags me away, all I can do is stare back towards the classroom, and hope that the human, as irritating as he is, is still alive.

Mark and Eliza are waiting in the common room for us – or at least, one is passed out on top of the table, and the other cowers under the table as soon as we arrive. Needless to say, neither says anything much, giving me the opportunity to speak as soon as Shadowclaw takes a breath.

"That Osaka boy – I haven't seen him anywhere since we got the advantages. Do you know where he is?"

“No idea!" she trills in reply. "But, but, buuuuuut – given the plot and all, I'm sure he'll show up either fashionably late, or just late!" She pauses a moment, as though expecting some sort of reaction – applause, perhaps, or laughter – but then  shakes her head, and goes on. "Tough crowd, you gaiz. But heyyy, I bet making a super–duper–awesomely–dark cake'll be a proper ice–breaker for y'all! Then I can make my ultimate choice or ultimate–ness, and everything'll be just great!"

She pauses again, only going on when I sigh and nod, and Mark's shaking looks enough like a nod to qualify.  "Soooo, step one: Cake!" she crows, taking Mark by the tail and bouncing towards the kitchen. “With a one, and a two, wheeeere are you strawberri– oh my god!” And she stops dead in the doorway; her ears go bolt upright, and a shiver goes down my spine. “A–ah–! U–um… I–I guess you found the jam, right? Right?

No… no way–!

Mark turns to look at whatever the Eevee’s staring at, and he just screams, high and long and ear–splitting. The sound startles me enough that I stumble into the kitchen – and it is then that I finally realize what was meant by the term 'heart–broken' on the card that came with my humanizing ring.

For there's a gaping, bloody hole where my precious Lucario's chest–spike was, and his heart lies next to his body, ripped in two.

But only next to his body – for his head, dear reader, is upon the kitchen counter.


Blinded By My Glory - Chapter 3
Normally I'm really iffy and very cautious about character death, especially one that's present as a surprise like this. But, when it's coming from a story that has advertised for a good two chapters that yes, it's very likely that most or even all of the cast is going to die at some point, I don't find it quite as disturbing. Huh.

As usual, speculation is fine, especially considering we now have a proper death to speculate over. As usual, I won't confirm or deny anything beyond "Ooooh, that's a cool theory", though you can brawl most civilly amongst yourselves if you like. 

In b4 "The admin is inciting draaaaama! Quick, get her off the admin board!"

[Disclaimer time - pokemonmanic3595 came up with Pokeumans in the first place, and I have express permission from him to use a Suicune, because reasons.

Chapter Two: Puzzle
First | Previous | Next

Eliza, surprisingly enough, is the first to react audibly to this news. "Wh–what the actual flying fuck?!? That means I'd have to make a bloody effort to pass this fucking exam!"

"Not if you were gonna kill me", Taki says, offering the Grovyle a smile. "Compared to any of the rest of ya monsters, I'd go down easy. I think, anyway."

"Are you seriously asking to die?!?" the Lopunny growls, and the human shrugs, looking her up and down as she continues to rant at him. "What are you, a total idiot? Did you not get the memo? This killing game's a serious thing! If we want to get out–"

"N–no! N–none of you should go killing each other… U–um… Because, if you like, I'll go first?"

"You'll what?!? Arceus above, you're almost as bad as the human!"

"S–sorry–! You can punish me for s–saying such an awful thing, if you like…"

"Well, I know there's only one person I'll be botherin' ta fight today!" Russ grins, then points at the Suicune. "Lucario Versus God. Can you imagine it?"

I scowl at him – I could not bear to lose such a wonderfully built Lucario to some silly fight with no cause – but thankfully, the Lopunny's rounded on him before I can unleash my own tongue. "And you're worse than both of them! Do you really think a god would have time to fight you?"

"Oooh!" the Eevee exclaims, in a high enough pitch that I feel my crust fluff up, and my ears are definitely ringing afterwards. "If all of you are gonna bite the dust, then I'll have to get the funeral party started well in advance! I'll order balloons, and a cake, and a really big box, and a–"

"Why are half of you borderline suicidal?" the Suicune snarls at long last, dropping the three Pokeumans he happens to be holding. "Don't any of you want to live?!?" He brings his head up, closing his eyes for a long moment before he goes on: "Apologies for my outburst. I would much rather have none of you lose your lives. As a god, I understand that life is… precious. Very precious. Please do not kill, only to then forsake your acquaintances. I cannot protect you all."

"Your daily leadership class will commence half hour from now," the voice intones, apparently oblivious to the lot of us. "You need not attend, but know that if you do not, you will lose an advantage over your fellow students. Please remember that at any given time, your life may depend on such an advantage."

"A false advantage, I will wager. Please do not trust a word coming forth from that speaker. Oh screen, I hereby bid you adieu, and hope that my companions will soon follow." With that, the Suicine struts back out, his expression as calm as a still lake.

"H–hey now!" Axel growls, stepping towards the screen. "Don't just move on, when your students are clearly shocked by such a copious breach of rules! As you can see, you have already lost the attention of one of them! And I'd also like to say that you have completely failed to address the most major issue here: There is no such thing as such a – a killing game – in the official Pokeumans rulebook! Not even in the infamous sixty–ninth edition, which is known for various unauthorized rule changes, and should never in any circumstances be used!"

But only silence greets him; a horrible, horrible silence. And, after a long pause, the screen flickers off.

"Well, now what?" asks the Zweilous, hopping from foot to foot. "Though, I guess the real question here is – who here trusts that announcer enough to walk into such an obvious death–trap?"

"I dunno", Taki muses. "I mean, you're a two–headed dragon, who can probably spit poison or somethin'. Whatever advantage they're offerin', you don't need it. But… Uh, I'm a regular bloke, and I don't really wanna die first."

"Don't you get it? They're lying. If you trust them, they'll kill you for not realizing that they were lying. You heard the logic earlier, right? They're testing us right now, to see who'll fall for their lie."

"Then I'll die first either way. But – at least I've got some hope of staying alive if I stay here." And so saying, Taki turns his back on her, picks the middle desk of the five in the front row, and sits, staring silently at the screen.

"Tch… Well, I'll try to muster up a few tears at your funeral." With this, Ali stalks out, leaving the rest of us try and decide what to do.

"There can be no question about this, classmates!" Axel growls. "We must assume that our superiors want each of us to become the best leaders that we can, and we must trust them to help us."

The Lopunny rolls her eyes at him. "Jeez… How many of you didn't get the memo? You dumb dog, that's not an official on the other side of the screen! It's clearly a cold–blooded killer, with no morals at all! They clearly want us to kill each other, presumably while they watch! Don't you go trusting them for a minute!"

The Herdier's shaking at her response, he almost cringes back from her, but – he takes a deep breath to steady himself. "Miss Lopunny, I am truly sorry – but I trust my teachers with all my heart!"

"It's Rebecca. And– you are very honest. I like that in a person. I… um, really hope you survive this." She looks away from him for a long moment, then sighs, and turns to go. "I'm sorry I can't be that brave, okay? I hope you and everyone else who stays will become stronger."

That throws the question out to the rest of the room – and almost immediately, Russ shrugs. "Advantages ain't my thing, so I guess I'll head out. You guys have fun in there, 'kay? If a monster comes to tear up the lot of ya, pics or it didn't happen." He saunters out, Mark all but running at his heels.

"W–wait for me–! I d–don't deserve any advantages, either!"

That just leaves five of us – Eliza, Taki, Axel, that awful dark–coloured Eevee, and myself. I promptly look about to see what the two undecided are doing – and it looks like they're going to wait for the class.

"Level–up time?!? Count me in! Shadowclaw is one–hundred percent down with it!" the Eevee's cheering, dancing about atop a desk just to the left of Taki, and Eliza snores from where she's still draped across one to his far left. On the far right desk in the front row sits Axel, bolt upright and perfectly silent.

If I stay, that makes it an even split…

On the one hand, I want to follow Russ's example. I want to be strong, like him – and I suppose I am, as I highly talented Pokeuman. I could take any of the others with a wing tied behind my back, if only I wasn't partially blind. But, as I am – as soon as the others know about my disability, I'll die early, no matter how cunning I am. Perhaps I will not die first, but all the same – an advantage could help me last just long enough to survive more than a day here.

And so, I settle myself upon the last remainin desk in the front row, right between Taki and Axel, and wait. There is no way to keep track of the time in this classroom – it feels like an age that we all sit in relative quiet, broken only by the occasional snore from Eliza, and the odd happy noise from the Eevee – which I will, for the record, forever refuse to call Shadowclaw, no matter how many times she tries to shove it down my throat. Time does pass, however, and eventually the screen comes back on, the voice speaking again:

"So, here is my class. The disabled, the idler, the coward, the actor, and the glutton…"

I frown, looking at the others. The idler and the disabled I understand – those surely couldn't be anything other than insults thrown at Eliza and myself. But the other three I can't seem to pin down; neither Axel or that Eevee seem to fit into any of the remaining insults, and Taki despite his talk could be any of the three.

"And which of us are you referring to by that?" I ask eventually, when it becomes apparent that the screen will not speak again unless someone answers.

"That is today's question. Discuss it amongst yourselves, and the lesson may continue depending on the answer. Please inform me when you have decided."

"And if we answer it the wrong way?" Taki asks, and the response is just about instant:

"Then you will all die." The classroom door slams, and locks quite noisily. "But, by all means… You have all the time you wish to answer the question. Or – however long it takes to starve a Pokeuman to death, really."

"Tch… Treat it as a teamwork exercise, classmates! We must each put forth the most common insults used against us, and decide from there. In the process, we will learn a little about each other's imperfections, and work to overcome them!"

"Well", Eliza laughs, "You don't need to goddamned well be Sherlock fucking Holmes to know that I'm the Idler. Lazy as fuckin' hell, a lazy piece of shit – yup, that's me all right."

"You were awake the whole time?!? What a plot twist!" crows the Eevee – there's something odd about that statement, but I can't quite pick it. I shake my head, but – well, what else could the Grovyle be? Idler seems to suit her best, certainly more than any of the others.

"Then… I must be the disabled person", I say, lowering my head. I need to tell the truth – a single wrong answer could get us all executed – but that doesn't at all mean that I'm happy about telling it. "My vision is – No, I would rather not speak of it. I merely have a condition that would mark me as disabled, despite my many other abilities."

"My sympathies", Axel says, and he shuffles a little closer to me – though of course, I refuse to meet his gaze.

"I don't need your pathetic variant of sympathy, classmate."

"Classmate–!" he exclaims, brightening almost immediately. "We're making excellent progress today, Miss Van Rudwick!"

"Anyway," Taki sighs, pointing at himself. "Let's try not to strangle anyone today, and instead just say that I've gotta be the coward – not only am I scared of the lot of you, I stayed here because I was too scared of dying first."

"Whiiiich means I've gotta be the glutton! I stayed so Shadowclaw could get stronger, so seems like I just can't get enough of those sweet and special powers!"

"That just makes you sound like some kind of druggie!" Eliza groans, but the Eevee doesn't seem to take any offence.

"Just you wait! When you level up, you'll really feel the buzz!"

Taki balks. "Whaaaa?!? I–is that some kind of 'seven levels' reference? Don't tell me those crazy Beatles fangirls still exist…"

"I've eaten snails. Do you think they count?"

Since this conversation seems to have jumped well off the rails and taken out a small town in the process, I decide to look over at Axel. "In terms of roles, only the actor is left. I know you are very loyal, but are you–?"

"No, I must be the actor!" Axel laughs. "I have been hiding my fear and confusion ever since I first woke up, in order to try and keep my classmates. So – it seems we have our answer, classmates!"

"Great, so let's hurry up and get our advantages already", Eliza yawns. "Hey, board. Taki's the coward, Axel's the actor, Shadowclaw's the glutton, Gloria's the disabled, and I'm the idler. So, what do we win? Where's that advantage?"

"You are… wrong. On every count. You did not get a single answer correct. Some of you lied deliberately, some unconsciously, and yet not a single truth was told in your answering statement. Fascinating."

Needless to say, that puts a stop to the human's attempts to convince the Eevee of the existence of The Beatles – in fact, the Eevee chokes mid–speech, causing Eliza to lean over and bang her on the back several times while Taki rants at the screen. "What the hell?!? Then how is Eliza over there not lazy? A–and Gloria's got to have her disability, or she wouldn't have gone and make herself look weaker! I'm definitely a coward, Axel's got the actor role all reasoned out – everything fits!"

"They fit, yes. But not perfectly. For each of you, there is a better descriptor – a better word, which you all sought to hide from each other. Unconsciously or consciously, you did it." A long pause. "But I never said I would execute you for an incorrect answer. Only one presented in the wrong way. Therefore, the lesson may continue. I will give a short speech, then the advantages will be distributed."

Taki sags against his desk, and I feel myself relax a little myself. It seems that I will not die today – not yet, at least. I look about at the others, and their own relief is blatantly obvious even to a partially blind bird such as myself; the Eevee is humming a merry tune under her breath,  Eliza seems to have relaxed enough to have dozed off over her desk, and Axel , though he's grumbling, at least looks a little more comfortable in the room now that he knows his classmates are safe, for now at least.

"You are all weak, as that exercise should have shown. Each of you stayed because of some flaw that compelled yourselves to, and then each of you accepted an insult as belonging to yourselves, when – had you been strong leaders – you should not have accepted a single one. The human was in fact right – those who chose not to take the temptation of some sort of advantage were in fact those who did not believe they did not need it. They were the ones who believed in their own strength. And yet… Pride is a fatal flaw. Perhaps one of you will show them just how fatal it is, now that I have closed the gap in strength between all of you."

And as these words are spoken, I can't help but think that all of this was planned well in advance. That list of insults couldn't have been merely improvised; each one carefully selected so that we, this particular group of five, would get them all wrong. In fact  – going off that speech, it wouldn't make any sense for the mastermind to give anyone other than us five an advantage at all, assuming they really were trying to balance it all out. They must have predicted that we would be the ones to stay behind if they offered an advantage right after they told us to kill our fellow students to get out; that we were the only ones desperate enough to take that risk and trust them for a moment.

But… How are they predicting what we're going to do?  Maybe if we can figure it out, we can we cheat them at whatever game they're playing…

The classroom door clicks open, and the voice speaks again, interrupting my thoughts; I vow to talk to the others about them at some later point. "The advantages have been distributed, along with the correct answers to each of your roles. Each advantage is different depending on your role, custom–built to suit your needs and nature; each one is some item that will aid you in your quest to pass the exam. You will find them in your bedrooms. You may do whatever you wish with them."

With that, the screen shuts off, and it's in a small, silent group that we leave. Maybe it's having gone through a near–death scenario together, but I almost feel a little closer to the other four. We all learnt a truth about each other, or at least learnt something we would admit to each other with our lives on the line. Perhaps that was the point of the whole exercise, then – to make the weaker ones come together, make them form something of an alliance and give them these advantages – but I cannot be certain about that. For one thing, only one student may leave, so an alliance would be futile if used for anything other than defense. And for another, anything could be our vague 'advantage', including unsavoury information about each other. The mastermind has toyed with us up until now; perhaps they wanted to bring us together, only to tear us apart again…

“There are ten doors here, each of a different type, as shown by the plaque and the colour of the door itself. Therefore, that Flying–type room is yours!" Axel's saying, pointing to a light–purple door with a small plaque upon it, that reads FLYING–TYPE in large capital letters. The others must have already gone into their rooms, or elsewhere; we are alone in the hallway right now. I glance down the hall just to make sure of this, frowning a little – each door is slightly different, not just in terms of the colour and name on the plague, but in terms of the style, size, and even the way the door opens – some, like mine, have a handle, others are sliding doors, or have a little dog–flap in addition to the handle. My handle is set very low in the door, at the perfect height for me to reach up with one talon and open it.

Again… Whoever it is predicted who was going to arrive, and what sorts of Pokemon they would be. But – there’s one mistake they made, isn’t there–?

"If our rooms really are all of a different type, and you want all of the types to match their owners, then… What room do you have, Axel? You are a Normal–type, but so is that Eevee, and the Lopunny as well… And yet, I do not think it would be wise for any of you to share, considering our current situation."

“The answer is simple, classmate! I took the Normal–type room for myself, and gave Shadowclaw the Dark–type room, as she believed it would best compliment both her name, and her final evolution. Rebecca has the Fighting–type room, since her Mega Evolution has one of those types – I told her that it would represent her hope to get stronger! The rest are simple – Ali has taken the Dragon–type room, Eliza the Grass–type room, Russ the Steel–type room, Mark the Water–type room, and of course, as a Suicune is the god of the cold North Wind, I thought Ice would be the best choice for his room. ”

“That just leaves Osaka, then.”

“He gets the last remaining bedroom!” Axel replies, gesturing to the enormous orange door directly opposite mine; it appears to have both a handle at human height, and an enormous dog–door in the center, big enough to fit a car through.  “Fire–type, sadly. But I am sure I will find some way to link him to it, even though he doesn’t have a type. Perhaps something about his passionate gaze, if he has one?”

Whoever put us here knew our types, so we’d all fit neatly into these elemental rooms… Meaning, they knew Taki would end up in the Fire–type room. So, does that mean he’s going to become a Fire–type Pokeuman himself? If he is – he’s not going to start changing soon, is he? A half–Camerupt or half–Torkoal abomination would be bad enough to put up with for a week, worse if it was trying to kill someone the whole time...

“…Thankyou for your help, Axel”, I say out loud, and step into my room, quietly closing and locking the door behind me. The walls are a far paler shade of Flying–type’s lilac hue, and are in fact almost white; the plush carpet, however, is identical to the color on my door. Needless to say, the room seems to have been built with yours truly in mind; there is a very high ceiling to this room, and no bed or furniture to speak of beyond a stool, presumably for my visitors to sit upon. For me, there are several purple shelves of the floating variety set into the walls at various points – some low enough that I could easily be seated on level with whoever decides to use the stool, others well out of each of even Ali’s long necks. Most are bare, save for a few scraps of purple material here and there; on the topmost, however, is a large pile of purple cloth.

It takes me several attempts to circle up and not bang my wings on the shelves as I do so, but eventually I make it to the pile, landing next to it in order to sift through with my talons and beak. I suppose this is a bed of some sort – there’s a futon at the bottom of it all, then some small cushions on top of it, and on top of that are what must be hundreds of pieces of cloth of varying textures and shades; some are small, some are large. I decide it is some attempt at nest–making from a person who doesn’t know the first thing about it, but at least the thing is comfortable, and I suppose I could spend a night in it.

More importantly, there is a small box at the centre of the heap; I feel it up against one of my wings, and after some fiddling around, I manage to plunge my head into the pile and retrieve it. Eager to take my advantage, I waste no time in reading the note attached to it; I rip off the ribbon with my beak, tear up the white cardboard with my talons and–

–say a word that no lady should know. What I see before me is certainly an advantage; I doubt any of the others would have one, and it can remove my biggest weakness from the game. But it’s a double–edged sword, to say the least; it could very, very easily leave me vulnerable, and even get me killed.

I guess something that would have handed me the exam on a silver platter was too much to ask for...

Blinded By My Glory, Chapter 2
Looks like my average wordcount for these opening chapters is at around 4k, probably because of all the ridiculous amounts of exposition/character development that I'm cramming in there right now.

Think you know what the correct answers to the insult question were? Who do you think will bite the dust first? What do you think the others got as their ‘advantages’? Are we ever going to get the Suicune’s name? Speculate away~ Please bear in mind that I usually can't answer speculation or questions involving heavy speculation due to spoilers
, though ofc you're more than welcome to  speculate with others in the comments.

[Disclaimer time - pokemonmanic3595 came up with Pokeumans in the first place, and I have express permission from him to use a Suicune, because reasons.

Chapter One: Meetings

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Crumm does not change his mind. 

When I wake up the next day, it's not in my own personal room – heck, I'm not even in a bed, let alone in my own bed. I am lying sprawled across something hard and cold, staring up at a low ceiling. There's something I think I should remember – something about a party, something about my friends, but – no, it's gone. I brush it aside; it was likely a mere dream. I see no need for friendship; after all, what use is canon fodder when one is attached to it?

For a moment, I wonder how I got here – wherever here is – but it is with a shudder that I remember the events of that morning. You see, at what I do hope was no earlier than five in the morning, I was dragged out of my safe, warm bed by not Crumm,  or even by some dashing young Braviary – just some scruffy young Herdier.

He was large, larger than most Herdier I'd seen, but that would be about all that was out of the ordinary with him. As he grabbed my leg in his mouth and pulled me into the hallway, a golden badge had gleamed in the light, pinned to his collar – almost impressive, if only it hadn't read 'Hall Monitor'. Now, I was expecting to be guarded by someone who had, for instance, made it onto the Elite Four, or was some very honored member of the PRT – but even with my failing vision, I could tell that this youngster was clearly neither of those.

"Wild Charge!" he had shouted, and then we were going far, far too fast, my beak skimming inches from the ground.

"Wh–what are you doing?!?" I cried, outraged at my rough treatment. "Where is my honour guard? I demand to be transported to my destination with some semblance of decorum and dignity! I will lodge a complaint! I will – I'll–!"

But I got no response, unless the sudden lurch that choked my words was a response in itself. We must have gone into a lift of some sort, a very dark lift at that, and then– no, I don't remember anything after that. My guess would be that the idiot dropped me in the lift or something. There is only so much one delicate bird can take, after all!

Shaking my head in disbelief at such a awful chauffeur, I decide to rise and survey my situation. Whatever I am trying to stand on, it is smooth and polished; several times,  my talons scrabble for a grip, and I almost slide right off the edge of this–


Yes, despite the fact that the whole thing seems to be made of polished crystal – possibly amethyst, going off the light purple hue – it is a desk. I tuck my legs under myself and sit on it, determined not to break a wing on my first day at a brand new school. It must be my first day, and the school must be brand new, since I am clearly in a classroom of sorts – albeit one far more elegant and pristine than any of those one might find at my own base. Around me are only nine other desks, spaced about the room in two even rows; though each is a different hue to mine, and some are certainly larger than others, each one is as polished as the one I am seated upon. They add some colour to what otherwise might be a rather sterile room – the walls and ceiling are a plain cream colour, and though they do not carry the scent of fresh paint, I can see no marks upon them, no matter how hard I squint. At the far end of the room, there is not a whiteboard nor a teacher's desk, but a screen that takes up most of the wall–space. It, much like the walls, seems to be in perfect condition; even with my failing vision, I can see my own reflection quite clearly.

"It's where we send the ones that aren't cut out for this life - the blind, the deaf, the permanently injured, the mentally unsound."

Crumm's words ring in my mind, and I shake my head in some confusion. For the supposedly 'unwanted' Pokeumans, I had been imagining something far more run–down, and yet this place is far above and beyond the quality of any of the classrooms at my own base. Only ten students per class, that enormous television, the polished desks – the principal must have been lying, I decide. He has clearly sent me to an elite academy of some description, since my leadership skills are clearly more than worthy of it.

Suddenly, the door opens, and a young man sticks his head into the room. I can only assume that he was a mistake on the academy's part, since he's scruffy by anyone's standards, with a jacket, shirt, and jeans that I imagine he grabbed off the floor when he woke up in bed that morning, so creased and loose–fitting they are. That gaudy headband isn't at all keeping his pink–streaked hair from looking ridiculous, either; it's just making it stick up in every direction. The only reason I do not immediately reprimand him for such sloppy dressing would be due to him disappearing almost as soon as he's met my gaze, calling out to what I hope are not imaginary friends:

"Hey, she's woken up – finally. Now we've just gotta coax the dino–thing out from under that desk, and we'll good to go."

Other voices – far too many to document here – ring out in the corridor in answer, and footfalls soon after, mixing with the click and clack of claws scrabbling on a polished floor. Appallingly Dressed Human comes back into the room, offering me an encouraging smile that I meet with a glare. "…Hopefully we'll all know where we've ended up soon", he says, then draws nearer, extending a hand. "The name's Taki. Taki Osaka, but – uh, only call me Osaka if ya decide y'hate my guts, okay?"

"A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Osaka", I reply, enjoying the stunned look on his face as he shakes my talon. "Now, kindly leave me alo–"


"Teamwork brigade, classmate! Teamwork!"

“Friendship sounds cooler, though!”

“It most certainly does not!”

“Does too!”

And just like that, there's not one overly excited puppy, but two, right in my face. I hop back, flapping wildly, but they’re both too fast – the Eevee with the stupid black highlights just about bowls me over, and the Herdier right behind her is close on her paws, barking almost as loudly as he then yells: "Calm yourself, classmate!"

Apparently somehow incited by this, the Eevee jumps on top of me, and promptly starts trying to lick my face, calling out a word between each attempt. “No! Way! Shadowclaw! Is! Never! Ever! Calm!” Shouting something about rules, the Herdier leaps onto me in order to grab the Eevee by her stupid black doggy jacket with the silver spikes, but since the two of them are of about the same size, this accomplishes very little. Taki does absolutely nothing to help me; he just stands and stares at the melee, hopefully feeling about as useless as a human faced with three superpowered creatures ought to.

“Remove yourselves from my person at once!” I squawk, flailing until after what feels like an age, someone with some degree of common sense steps in, bends down over the three of us, and comes up with one overenthusiastic dog in each hand.

“’Scuse me,” he says, “but I’m not plannin’ on anyone getting hurt today, ‘less it’s me doing the hurtin’” –  and my beak is hanging open at the sight of not that awful line, nor at the fact that he’s holding both flailing dogs with ease, but more to do with the nature of my rescuer. Now, I’m no judge when it comes to looks, but – well, this Lucario is rather well–toned, his fur lustrous, his eyes full of fighting spirit. If it wasn’t for his coarse way of talking, I might – actually, perhaps his way of speaking makes him even more attractive. I know I’m a little weak to what some might refer to as ‘the bad boys’, after all. I feel my heart flutter a little; I will definitely need his phone number, and vow to stop at nothing in order to get it.  

“Axel”, says the Herdier – he and the Eeevee must have been set down, he must be introducing himself now, but I only have eyes and ears for my rescuer. I also couldn’t care less about Taki’s whining about Axel calling him ‘Osaka’ for whatever reason, nor could I care about the Eevee’s name, (which is clearly a false one – Shadowclaw is just a completely ridiculous name, that I hope no parents ). No, all I care about is the Lucario’s name – Russ – the way his teeth clench at the end of the word, the way that ‘s’ hangs in the air when he says it, like a hissing snake.

“…Gloria”, I eventually remember to reply. “Gloria Maurice Van Rudwick. And may I say, Sir Russ, that it is a complete and utter pleasure to meet such a dashing youth–” And here I stop, staring hard at the Herdier – or more specifically, his lovely golden ‘Hall Monitor’ badge. Few things could have distracted myself from such a good–looking, good–natured Lucario as Russ, but that badge combined with the fact that its owner is a Herdier is enough.

“Do you like it?” he asks after a moment of silence. “I was presented with it by the Headmaster himself–”

“I do not like it, for it clearly marks you out as my kidnapper!" I snarl at him. "You treated me in the roughest way possible, ruining my plumage in some fiendish attempt to sabotage my very first day at this elite academy!”

“I most certainly did not do anything like that!” Axel barks, but I am not about to let him off so easily.

"You are a ruffian of the worst sort!" I spit, and he flinches back. "A criminal! Do you understand?!?"

Taki sighs noisily, and steps up to stand next to the Lucario, absent–mindedly scratching the Eevee (who I hereby refuse to refer to as 'Shadowclaw') behind the ears. Incredibly, this doesn't result in him getting cheap black dye all over his hand. “Wait. Axel, if y'brought her here – you’d know where we've ended up, right?”

“I have absolutely zero knowledge of that, classmate! This place does not at all match my prior research of our previous destination!”

"Great – just great", Russ growls, somehow all the cooler when he's angry. "So none of us ten have any flippin' idea where we are, or what we're supposed to do? Makes me wanna punch a wall…"

"Ten?" I ask. "But there are only five here in this room. I understand that you may be strong enough to count as two, Sir Russ, however that does not explain the other four."

"Hmm… D'ya think maybe four of my abs count? I'm pretty strong, so…"

Taki rolls his eyes at both of us, then starts counting off on his fingers. "I'm guessing Russ's muscles aren't separate characters. So – Gloria, me, Russ, Axel, Shadowclaw, and whatever the dino thing under the desk is called. Then there's the sweary one, the two–headed thing, the actual Playboy bunny, and… Mmh. That only makes nine, doesn't it?"

"Does it?" asks the Eevee, and I shake my head in disbelief. Apparently, today is the day I am supposed to face true stupidity. I can only assume that it's some sort of test of leadership skills, so I hold back on the straight insults and instead try for something more passive–aggressive.

"If ever our teacher arrives, I hope they teach you basic addition before kicking you out."

That'll show her.

"H–hey now! I'm Shadowclaw, of course I'm good at addition! And negaddition! And plotication! Actually, I'm good at all the things!"

Axel harrumphs. "Do not fight, classmates! We clearly must pull ourselves together, and in a grand display of teamwork, bring all ten of ourselves to the room in which we all first woke, one by one! Then–"

"The answers to our questions will shine brightly in the light of our friendship, right?!? Right! That's exactly what Shadowclaw would say, anyway!" says the Eevee, who is either not called Shadowclaw at all despite her introduction, or just referred to herself in the third person. Either way, I've just lost even more respect for her, which I didn't think was even possible at this point.

"Tch… So, y'reckon we should get everyone together an' brawl, Axel?" asks Russ, then smirks. "Best idea I've heard all week. I'll take the lot of ya on, so bring it! "

Needless to say, Taki cringes back from the possible fight, and Axel leaps out in front of him to try and stare down the far taller Lucario, fur bristling."Classmates, I repeat – we are not to fight! We must stand as one!"

"But I like slapping things!" whines the Eevee, waving a paw at Axel. Russ nods along with her declaration, and when he nods, it's hard for me to stop myself from following him. "After all," she goes on, "Assurance is Shadowclaw's favourite move!"

"Incorrect, fellow classmate! You are clearly an Eevee, and an Eevee is unable to learn–"

 "Why are you all so bloody noisy?" growls a voice from just outside the classroom, and in comes a Grovyle, followed by a Zweilous. Only one of the Zweilous's heads – the left one – seems to be paying attention to us right now; the other merely stares about the room. Not that either of them are at all that chatty; the Grovyle is doing all the shouting here. "Some of us are trying to do fricking important things, like napping, and then there's you lot flapping your traps! Teamwork, my a–"

"Eliza, please", the Zweilous's left head snaps. "We are trying to make a decent impression here." The Grovyle 's rant descends into low growl at the command, and the Zweilous nods to our group with its left head. "My name is Ali Allen, and I'm the dominant head. The other one doesn't matter." She inclines her head; unsurprisingly, the right one doesn't pay attention to the gesture. "I hope we won't fight too badly here. "

"And I'm Eliza, in case she didn't already goddamned tip you off. Daughter of some high–rankin' headmaster, born with the ability to kick butt, blah blah blah – and currently in need of a nap, since some of you couldn't keep your fuckin' mouths shut!"  So saying, the Grovyle stalks over to a desk I hope is hers, one of shimmering green crystal, and stretches right out on it. "Man, you guys… Shut yer whinin', and lemme have my friggin' sleep."

As Axel promptly grabs one of the Grovyle's ankles and begins trying to shake her awake ("Laziness is not welcome amongst classmates!"), Taki sighs again, rubbing at his temples. "Tch… Well, that makes eight of us, if that dino thing under the desk over there is even alive."

A Totodile finally sticks his head up from under the desk in question, one claw trembling in the air as he stammers  and stutters. "U–um–! I'm alive… And, um, I’m not a ‘dino–thing’, my name’s Mark, s–so… Maybe you can call me that? Er, though – only if it's okay with you… Y–you can totally kill me for s–suggesting it, if it's not okay!"

The human balks, though whether it's at the sight of the Totodile or at its words is anyone's guess. "Wha–? I couldn't kill you, even if I wanted to! Y–you're another one of those overpowered monster things, just like…" He trails off there, and for good reason – the whole room's gone eerily quiet at his words. I look about myself; every other Pokeuman's gaze is fixed on Taki right now. Even Axel and Eliza have stopped thrashing around on the desk, just so that they, too, can stare in silence at him.

"…Uh. Um. I mean. Well." Taki takes a step back from us, deciding there's something very interesting about the carpet.

"I–I'm not a monster", the Eevee begins – and she looks almost hurt, what with her ears drooping and tail between her legs. For a moment, I feel half–sorry for the little fluffy fox–thing with the terrible name – "I'm a Pocket Monster", she finishes, and all sympathy I might have had for her evaporates instantly. Taki looks straight–up confused at her words, and takes another step back towards the door, but he's the only one of us who doesn't get the Eevee's terrible joke – a few snickers break out amongst the noisier ones, and one of Ali's heads goes under a wing to try and stifle its laughter.

Axel, of course, won't have any of that. "We do not laugh at classmates, and we certainly do not call each other monsters! I thought these were basic class rules, but apparently they are not so!" With surprising agility, the little Herdier hops off Eliza's desk, leaps up onto another, then sits on his haunches, waving one paw about at us as though he is a conductor of some sort. "From this moment on, all of you are going to learn proper teamwork skills!"

I'm not sure what he's really trying to achieve here; I hop from talon to talon, looking about at the others. Taki just kind of stares at Axel with his mouth hanging open. The Totodile looks like he might be trying to muster up the courage to say something, but then Eliza flops down on her desk with a loud noise that makes the little guy jump and swallow. Not that the Grovyle seems to notice Mark’s obvious discomfort; she closes her eyes and rolls onto her back on the desk, waving all five limbs in the air. "Three words, dog: Too much fuckin' work."

"That's four words," Ali growls, but all she gets in response is a yawn. Both heads glare in the general direction of the sound, though thankfully the two–headed–dragon–thing doesn't decide to try attacking her fellow Pokeuman. I wouldn’t normally mind such petty bickering turning into something more serious, but I really rather not have a catfight between two possibly strong Pokemon in the middle of such a pristine classroom.

Definitely not on the first day, in such a prestigious–seeming academy… Whatever would our teacher think–?

“As a team of classmates, I believe a swearing jar should be the first thing we implement. Allow myself to explain this concept, then we shall have a round of questions!”

Russ cocks his head to the side, then speaks in his usual rough draw: "'Ey, puppy. You wanna boss me 'round? Try beatin' me up, and then we'll see about it." The Lucario flexes his muscles for extra emphasis, throwing his shoulders back and swinging his arms a little, and I feel just a little faint. I'm not the only one – Mark is apparently so intimidated by this display of might that he disappears back under the desk with a squeak.

Axel notices neither of our reactions; he waves both his paws at Russ, who doesn't look very impressed. "I would never do such a thing! Fighting is absolutely anti–teamwork, classmate!"

"Them's fightin' words, right there! C'mon, show me some bite to go with that bark–"

For the better or the worse, there's a long, drawn out whine from under the desk, causing that awful Eevee to go rushing over to it – again, with the Herdier sprinting at her heels. I get the funny feeling that these two might know each other – though what they’re shouting is very different (“Shadowclaw to the rescue!”, “Classmate, are you injured?!?”), this would be the second time I’ve seen them move together. Yes, I decide – either they know each other, or stupid minds think alike. Perhaps it is both.

At any rate, Mark doesn’t appreciates their synchronicity. In fact, he bolts out from under his desk and runs across the room, wailing “D–don’t kill me! I–I can run fast for you! See? See?” at the top of his lungs – and just like that, the whole situation has descended into complete chaos. For one thing, the two canines carry on chasing him, knocking over desks and chairs in the process; for another, Russ tries to grab one of the dogs as they charge by and misses, hitting Ali instead (who promptly tries to claw at him), and for a third, Eliza decides to start a running commentary, most of it consisting of words no fine lady should know. It’s little surprise that I stretch my wings nervously, ready to flap out of the way if necessary, and that Taki decides to step out into the corridor–

“What, in the name of me, is going on?”

–but he can’t, since there’s a big, blue dog standing there. I get only a split–second to look at it before it is suddenly a big blue blur of motion, but I know what it is; and when he slows to a halt at the front of the classroom, with an Eevee, a Totodile, and a Herdier dangling from his jaws, I get my confirmation.

A Suicune… A real Suicune.

A Lopunny comes in after the Suicune, and promptly starts telling Taki off for looking at her the wrong way, but I don’t think a single Pokeuman in the room is paying any attention to her. We’re all staring, slack–jawed, at the Legendary standing before us, a Legendary who is still very much recognizable despite the white waistcoat, tie, and top hat. There’s a long silence, which starts out awed and then turns into a ‘well, what do we do now?’ sort of affair – we are in the presence of a Legendary, a literal god walking amongst us. However, it doesn’t become at all awkward – since before he can introduce himself or put down Mark, the Eevee, and Axel, the screen just behind him lights up, displaying a fancy PRT logo, with the words The Academy For Gifted Leaders beside it in gilded, shimmering letters. A piano begins to play, soft, tinkling notes; some seconds later, there's a voice speaking over it.

"Welcome to the Academy For Gifted Leaders. Now that you have all met each other, let us proceed."

A thrill runs through me. Just as I thought, this is indeed an academy for only the best of the best–

“Your school life here begins now. And unless a certain condition is fulfilled, it will not end.”


Murmurs go about the room at this, and for good reason; that, right there, is one ridiculous statement. “All school lives have to end!” I say loudly, and the murmuring increases in volume. “If we are to use whatever skills we have in the outside world, we must be let outside the school grounds eventually!”

“You will not leave the school grounds unless you have passed your exam. That is the rule.”

“What’s the exam on, then?” Russ growls.

“As a leader, you are required to make difficult decisions. Decisions which can endanger – or even sacrifice lives. This exam tests that ability.”

Though I can’t see most of her face, Ali’s anger is evident in her voice. “So? Just get on with it, and tell me what it is we have to do!” I think I already have an idea of what it might be; I almost go to stop the voice from oh–so–gently telling us, but… No, I need it confirmed.

“You must kill at least one, and at most three of the nine people around you. A proper murder investigation will of course be held after the fact, complete with a trial; each of your classmates shall discuss, then vote on who they thought committed murder. A leader must be able to bluff and lie; this part of the exam will test this. Lead the others to the wrong conclusion about who did it, and you alone will be allowed to walk away from this place. The others, having fallen for your lies, will be disposed of accordingly. However… If you are found guilty, I will see to it that you are executed. You will have failed our test of leadership, and the Academy For Gifted Leaders is no place for a failure.”

So begins a nightmare I may never wake from.

Blinded By My Glory - Chapter 1
So it begins. (Properly, this time - figured I should get this up and quite deliberating! I will edit this for any typos and the like in the morning.) Out of the eight I got properly introduced in this chapter, who's your fave?

Thankfully, these ten characters are the only ones you'll see in the story for at least a long while, so after a few chapters you guys should be used to all the different names and species. Here's a handy reference for the eight so far introduced, though:

- Gloria - Swellow - vain, uppity
- Russ - Lucario - Gloria's not-crush, rough
- Taki - Human (?) - clueless about Pokémon, doesn't like them
- Shadowclaw - Eevee - straight up clueless, bright and happy happy happy
- Axel - Herdier - Teamwork, my classmates! TEAMWORK!
- Eliza - Grovyle - Speech is just about instantly recognizable due to all the foul language, lazy to the extreme
- Ali - Zweilous - Only the left head ever seems to talk, kinda passive-aggressive to everyone
- Mark - Totodile - Nervous McIntimidated

[Disclaimer time - pokemonmanic3595 came up with Pokeumans in the first place. Also, I got permission from him for the use of a Suicune, so there ya go~]
Ibuki vs Valentine's Day [ANIMATION] by spoonerdog123
Ibuki vs Valentine's Day [ANIMATION]

Some people spend V-day with their significant others. I spent mine trying to draw a heart for a card, then fought Mioda over the possession of it for the rest of the day

Happy V-Day, peoples! You can reblog/like/vandalize the thing here on Tumblr.



spoonerdog123's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
The above picture is of Spooner, the dog after which the account was named.

My adopts account is SpoonerdogAdopts (what a surprise!)

My fanfics can be found here: . They're mostly YGO fics... so, yeah. That place is also where all my art trades wind up.

Bit about me: I'm an Aussie gal living somewhere in Australia. I attempt to write Pokeuman stories, even try to draw the odd Pokemon from time to time. I'm a major, major fan of YGO, amongst other things.

I go by many names here on dA - such as Random Stranger, Lassie, Spoon, SD, Zoboe, and of course Spoonerdog. Obviously, none of those are my RL name.
There has been a very sudden, very sad event in real life. Bottom line - I'm not gonna be around for a few weeks. This... this particular event has hit me pretty hard. The only thing that will at all be updating is the story Mind Games on Ao3/, because I already hooked it up to a scheduler (the chapters are being put up automatically).

Sorry, guys. 


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vanessaskydragon Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
masterlevan1 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015  Student Writer
*Smiles and glomps you* :D
ChronicalLynx Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015  Student General Artist
Remember me?? c: (You probably don't... It's Emmy from the old Yugioh roleplay group we were in together youmightknowmeasyuugi)
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Yup, I remember you - good to hear from you again! 'Sup?
ChronicalLynx Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Student General Artist
Good to hear from you, as well! :D Uuuugh, my life is getting a bit busy since I'm closer to going to college and stuff ;_; But I'll be okay :heart: How about you?
KittyHimee Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
♥ Hi there kitten ~* 
♥ I used to be known as DemoiselleCourtoisie, but I no longer affiliate to the name and decided to change it to something more ''me''.
♥ I am writting to you because you are watching me, here, on DeviantART and I was thinking that maybe you'd be interested in liking my Facebook page as well !
♥ On there I am way more active and I plan to post some cosplay progress, make up tutorials and just everything I do that might interest you ~
♥ Thank you very much all in all, even if you decide that you don't want to follow me there too.

Kitty Himee
vanessaskydragon Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello how have you been doing .
masterlevan1 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015  Student Writer
Hey Spooner! Merry late Christmas and Happy New Years ^^, hope you are doing well! 
Pfaccioxx Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014   General Artist
You have Omega Ruby or Alpha Safire?

If yes you make a secret base?

If yes you want me to add you as 1 of my base's secret pal's?
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, no. With everything that's happened, I can neither afford nor have the time to play either game. 
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