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Submitted on
September 8, 2013
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Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! DM

Reasoning: Tradefic for Ria–Pia.

Handicap/Requirement: Fic needs to start with the line: 'He had to say goodbye'. And an extra requirement, because this one was just way too good to pass up – after the initial sentence, the paragraphs get shorter and shorter, until there's just one word left.

Ships: None. Thiefshipping and Angstshipping may be implied, but only if you're into those ships; romance is not mentioned anywhere.

Length: 1250 words. Another thing – the number before each paragraph is actually a measurement of how many words are in that paragraph.

Warnings: None, aside from maybe the line breaks...


He had to say goodbye–


150

–and that desire wasn't just a want, it was a need; and slowly destroying Marik Ishtar from the inside out. He had to say goodbye, cry a bit, then say goodbye again; he'd been practicing his misty-eyed looks alone in front of the mirror, and had them almost nailed. Indeed, the Egyptian had been mulling over that final goodbye, for some time now; he had decided that it was going to be his best, as befitted his best friend. Oh, Marik could see it all now, as he sauntered down from the bell tower, looking for his best friend; he would give Bakura a mournful stare when he sat in class, then holler "Bakura, we need to talk" in the corridor, and then – ah, yes, this would be the finest moment – he would say goodbye, and renounce Bakura as a best friend. Then he could go and save the world–


140

–and it was so sad that Bakura was already gone, so Marik couldn't talk to him. He wasn't really buried (because he'd already been buried), but he was still the spiritual equivalent of six feet under; and this was, in short, making saying goodbye awfully hard. Marik had tried and tried to say goodbye, he really had, but it was as though he was never heard - of course, he wasn't being heard, but it wasn't like Marik knew that. Bakura was dead, Marik knew that much, because everyone else said he was dead; but the Egyptian assumed that the ancient spirit wasn't dead. If you followed the tangled logic, it was possible to see that Bakura, simply put, could not be dead, not even when everyone else said that he was dead; and so to Marik, he wasn't dead–


130

–and Marik wanted to say goodbye, because it was to be his last goodbye; he had already dismissed those who once called the Egyptian 'friend'. They couldn't see him now, couldn't hear him; because he was invisible, that was it. Of course, he was simply nothing to the other students, perhaps even less than nothing, and so they ignored the Egyptian's pleas for attention – and so Marik's pride took the fact that he was often ignored, and twisted it into an absolute legend. He was special, even powerful, because he was invisible – a mighty superpower indeed. He could walk down a crowded corridor unseen and unnoticed; he could sit alone at a desk and no–one blinked twice. It was Bakura's blessing, the silent spirit had transferred his ka's power–


120

–and he knew it was all a lie, but the Egyptian didn't care; because it was a cool origin story. Marik had never actually seen the ka who had blessed him, but the invisibility power of Bakura's Diabound was surely a power used to do evil, back then, back now, though no longer – because Marik Ishtar, bled of hate and refilled with only the sweetest intentions, was going to be a superhero; he was going to be a regular Superman. Yes, once he'd sent away all his friends, and in doing so had become truly invisible, he was going to leave Domino, and instead set up invisible headquarters, and drive an invisible car about, and save the world from something


110

–and just as all superheros have a nemesis, so Marik invented his; forcing the one person who still spoke to Marik into that role, in his efforts to push Ryou Bakura away. You see, being a loner himself, the pale teen would sometimes stop and talk to the Egyptian, often when no–one else did; he would gaze into Marik's eyes and tell him he wasn't alone, that they had something in common. Marik disliked it, because Ryou knew; seeing right through the invisibility, making himself dangerous. The pale teen wasn't on the Egyptian's side; because he taunted Marik, gently telling him that Bakura was dead, that Marik wasn't invisible–


100

–and then Marik couldn't take it, because he had to say goodbye to Bakura, he had to be invisible. He was taken away by men in coats, whom Ryou had sent, because they saw and heard him, avoiding his slow punches easily. Ryou was there – not in the melee in the school corridor, but standing behind his hired thugs with a look that would have been regretful, if only the Egyptian hadn't known. Marik soon decided that Ryou had given the men invisible goggles, which were equipped with amazing technologies; these were what could see him, see through his illusion–


90

–and Marik woke up with a pounding headache, shackled to the bed with a terrible numbness and a plaster cast on his arm; though this was absolutely nothing compared to the torture Ryou Bakura managed to inflict. The pale teen sat by his bedside, telling him that Marik wasn't invisible and that Marik never would be invisible, because Ryou cared (enough to know all Marik's secrets). He couldn't hide from Ryou, because Ryou could see him; couldn't kill Ryou, because he had pledged to goodness, until he snapped and lunged–


80

–and now Ryou was lying prone, Marik standing over him, screaming that he was invisible, so no–one could possibly have seen Marik thump him (it was true, he was attacked from behind). There was blood on the floor, Ryou hardly fought back – Bakura was alive, Marik screamed, he was invisible because of Bakura, and speaking of dead things – Ryou had killed Marik's parents, all superheroes have dead parents. Marik's were dead already, but then Ryou had murdered them again–


70

–and the dart thudded into his leg, he was gone like Bakura was gone – only Marik was then reborn in numbing shackles, whereas Bakura was – no, alive!, he howled, searching for some escape from his nemesis; wanting only to say goodbye to Bakura, save the day (or night), defeat evil. He pointedly ignored the looks of worry Ryou gave him, because they were fake, like crocodile tears; not worth noticing–


60

–and Marik was a superhero, gifted and cursed, invisible, unable to show anyone his powers, isolated and all alone, doing good without people knowing (unless they had his nemesis's goggles). But he had another talent now; Marik could see Ryou's thoughts and machinations, which were evil despite his honeyed words. The pale teen lied; Bakura was not dead, Marik invisible–


50

–and Ryou could preach and yell all he liked, Marik wasn't listening; he didn't care for bad guys. Ryou was like Marik, he'd had the Ring – but now Marik had it, it had come to him. It glittered in his hands, yet it didn't – 'cos like Bakura, the Ring was–


40

–and he had to say goodbye to Bakura, but he still couldn't quite do it. Bakura was good company, better than the evil overlord holding him prisoner, the hospital walls killing him of boredom, everything was trying to kill him–


30

–and Marik lashed out again, and when subdued, he gazed into Ryou's eyes, and told his nemesis everything he knew about the pale teen, everything Bakura told him and more–


20

–and Ryou left, the day was saved. Marik was left to drift in peaceful insanity, until Ryou came back, comforting–


10

–and Marik wished Ryou would die, uppercut making wishes reality–


9

–and Ryou pleaded, Marik didn't care – wouldn't. He lunged–


8

–"Marik, I have to say something to you."


7

–and righteous superheroes let their nemeses speak–


6

–"I... I have to say goodbye"


5

–and Marik charged, glass shards–


4

–and heroic suicide, they–


3

fell, screaming goodbyes

.

six stories

.

then

.


0

Tradefic for ~Ria-Pia, who is awesome incarnate. Her end is here: fav.me/d6lje2v, and it's a ton less serious than my end~ She gave me a list of handicaps to try out, and I picked two because picking just one was way too hard a choice.

Incidentally, I've always wanted to try something with a superhero delusion in it; Marik was just too good to pass up~

Only tradefics for people on dA are posted here - my other fanfics are on www.fanfiction.net/u/3926067/, and deal mostly with the Yu-Gi-Oh! fandom.

Edit: Holy - a DD? Wow, thankyou so muchos! I can't say I was expecting that~ Might as well say that I'm always open for trades, and I guess I could do fanfic point commissions; we can work something out. Just note me if you happen to be interested, hmm?
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-10-06
Invisible Man by =spoonerdog123 is an enthralling trip into madness. The diminishing word count adds to the frantic pace. ( Featured by SingingFlames )
:iconnefairyious:
Nefairyious Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You know, I struggle to find something to praise that hasn't already been praised. This is amazingly cool. I love the perspective, the descent into insanity. It deserved the DD :)
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconmadnessofmana:
MadnessOfMana Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HOLY SHIT, YOU GOT A DD! CONGRATS!!!!!!
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
THANKYOUUU~ 
Reply
:iconmadnessofmana:
MadnessOfMana Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:icongenzouhunterssonn:
GenzouHunterssonn Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congratulations for the new Daily Deviation! 
Reply
:icondjpunupipi:
Djpunupipi Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy shoe woman congrat for that DD thingie!
I KNEW YOU WERE SOME SUPER SKILLED WRITER SEE? SEE?!Heheheh!
I love when you do that, making us sink into humans dark psychology, you little...you!
Keep it up anyway, you might end up being asked to write Yu-gi-oh new season... O.o
Reply
:icon0bsidianlink:
0bsidianlink Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel like the abridged series may not have given me enough information to fully understand the implications of this :P

congrads on the DD, though
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeaaah - probably not, xDD. Abridged personalities are very different from canon ones in most cases; Marik is a criminal mastermind with a serious ego problem, for instance, and he doesn't crack jokes.

Thankee~
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013
Floored. :clap: You're an incredible writer. 
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thankyou very much! :D
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013
You're very welcome! ^_^
Reply
:iconkushamisaru:
kushamisaru Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A FANFIC GOT A DD?
THIS INSPIRES ME SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA

I BOW TO YOU :worship:
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The CV in charge of fanfic DDs is ^SingingFlames, who does them every second Saturday~ So yeah, they do give out DDs especially for fanfics - just not as often as some of the other categories, xDD. 

A-and really? Thankyouuuu~
Reply
:iconsrcpcsoha:
srcpcsoha Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD! Have a good day!
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thankyou very much, and I'm sure I will! You have a good day too! ;P
Reply
:iconsrcpcsoha:
srcpcsoha Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
you're welcome!
Reply
:icondiphylla:
diphylla Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD! :pumpkin:
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thankyou! ;P
Reply
:icondiphylla:
diphylla Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
welcome!
Reply
:iconatyourdreams:
atyourdreams Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013
Omg!!! Sweettt lord! So much congrats on your DD!!! You totally deserved it!
You wrote it so damn well! I really luv your work, but you allready knew that c; Keep it up my dear!
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*knocked flying by a torrent of fav-bombs*  St-still trying to believe this, xDDD. I wasn't prepared for getting one! 

Ahhhh, thankyou so much, m'dear! I'll definitely try to keep it up~ :icondragonshy2:
Reply
:iconcatluvr2:
catluvr2 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. Congrats on the DD! :+favlove:
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thankee! :icondragonglomp:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the DD, well written and the whole idea is amazing! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I- I got a- wow, I did! :icondragonwant: Thankyou very much~
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    My pleasure, enjoy it :happybounce:
Reply
:iconorangepika:
OrangePika Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh my word... I... I honestly am speechless. I just have to say that I'm giving you a feels-murder award. Take that as you will.

I honestly don't know what else to say. The whole  thing is just so beautifully crafted, and the superhero delusion.... just... wow. O.o 
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Given that this is coming from She Who Just Murdered My Feels (she did it in the dead of night, with Yami Marik as her weapon of choice), I'll take it as a compliment~ |D And woohoo, I rendered an awesome writer speechless - that's one of the best things I could hear~ Thankyou so muchos! ;P 

That superhero delusion is one of those things I've wanted to try for a long time, but I could never find quite the right words. This isn't quite the right word choice, either, but I reckon it's pretty good~ 
Reply
:iconorangepika:
OrangePika Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*laughs halfheartedly then falls down face first* Yes, I do suppose there's that. xD You're very welcome! So, did Ria just give you a list of handicaps, and you picked one or two? Is that how this worked?

I reckon that myself. :D 
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah - she gave me a mixed list of prompts and handicaps. I did a little something for each one, then picked my favorites and worked on them - I was allowed to take on as many ideas as I liked~ sta.sh/01q9vd15u4jz Some of them were sentences I had to start with, some were all-out handicaps like the paragraph thing, and some of them were... I don't even know how to describe the one that asked me to run a story with a cat, a zombie and a duck in it, xDD. This time round was quite interesting, because most people in trades will just ask for a ship, or give me a half-plot to chew on.
Reply
:iconorangepika:
OrangePika Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That is quite interesting! Some of those are quite brilliant, on both ends! xD 
That's handy to know... I'll keep that in mind if I ever get around to doing a fic-art/fic-fic trade. x3 
Reply
:iconafallenangelami:
AFallenAngelAmI Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
... O_O
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
...Good or bad? :XD:
Reply
:iconafallenangelami:
AFallenAngelAmI Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
... I dunno... I still have to process it... O_O
They died, man... ;-;
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well,  teeeeechnically they didn't; I never said that they died, so the ending is left extremely open. If anything's dead, it's Marik's sanity~ 

Maybe Marik flew up into the air and saved both of them in a moment of superheroish glory (and in reality, they landed on a trampoline, xDDD)
Reply
:iconafallenangelami:
AFallenAngelAmI Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No, the trampoline isn't there. Bakura comes back and catches Marik and I catch Ryou. :>
Reply
:iconspoonerdog123:
spoonerdog123 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And then there were happy endings all round~
Reply
:iconafallenangelami:
AFallenAngelAmI Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes.
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